Hyper-Awareness

Oddly, today, I am almost hyper aware of my surroundings. The colors and edges seem sharper, more in focus. And, no, it isn’t because I cleaned my glasses.

I have no explination for it.

Still, I can tell you that the shine on my Kleen Kanteen is has at least seven variations of silver. The light from the flourescents above gleam on the top curve. The back is mostly in shadow. It looks like an excercise that my art teacher would have given us back in the day to learn shading or stippling.

The flourescents for their part are humming. Not buzzing. If they were buzzing, I’d be insane and already on the phone to get them replaced. No, humming, with the electricity that runs through them. It’s as if I can hear the electrons sliding from one side of the light to the other. They’re so full of spit and vinegar that they’re humming with energy.

The air feels colder in my lungs than ususal, even though my office is always like living on an ice flow. The air just seems fresher today.

My ears feel sharper, my nose stronger, my eyes clearer. It’s like waking up channeling my totem wolf.

For all of me, I wish I could just abandon work and go exploring. I have energy today and the world calls to me to come and play.

When Bad things happen

My office-mate might annoy me at times, but underneath it all, he’s a good guy.

Both of his kids are seriously ill and have spent a lot of time in the hospital.

His wife might be losing her job.

If that happens, the combination of sick kids and unemployed wife, will probably lead to lost home. They just can’t afford the payments.

It makes me sick to my stomach to think about it, but I also don’t have any solution I can offer them. I can’t take them in. I can’t pay thier mortgage. I can’t pay their hospital costs.

The only thing I can do is listen.

It sucks.

Seriously, bad stuff happens to good people all the time. These folks didn’t take on a mortgage that they couldn’t pay. And now, in the last gasp, I don’t know if they will even be able to sell their home. I’ll give them the name of a good realtor, cut coupons for diapers and pedialyte. That’s all I can do right now.

I wish to all the Gods that I could do something more.

Economic realities

I’m trying to become more aware of everything in my life. What I eat, what I wear, what I buy, what I don’t.

There are some hard facts to be faced. I have credit card debt. I’m on the mortgage with my parents on what is currently a rental property. We bought it before the market busted and hoped to actually live there. Although with the gas prices being what they are, it’s nice not to have to commute from that far out. My parents are retired, so it wouldn’t bother them for too long. (Dad’s on his second job and retiring in five years.)

I’m going to try to take a look at the economic impact of my choices, the ecological impact of my choices, and the social impact of my choices. I’m not going to be preachy about it or anything. As always, this is more for me than anything. It’s a way to organize my thoughts. And heck, I’ll consider this my “real” journal. I’m not trying to live up to anything, but maybe I can document a little bit of my life.

Wanderings of a Mad Mind

Now, originally, I thought this was going to be a personal finance blog.

Then, I started thinking that it was going to be an evironmental blog.

But, it’s time to be honest, this is going to be a weird sort of blog where I just post about life, the universe and everything else.

There’ll be laughs. There’ll be tears. There’ll be hopes. There’ll be fears.

There may be snippets of poetry or un-realized snippets of plot bunnies.

There will be outrageous theories and links to randomly interesting crap on the net.

In other words, it’s just going to be a mad mishmash of whatever is on my mind at the moment.